| Location | Newcastle Upon Tyne |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 16/10/2008 |
| Date of Death | 16/10/2008 |
| Visitors | 4,686 since 11/12/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
Danielle & Sean's Fundraising Page
http://www.justgiving.com/danielle_fairbairn
Due on Wednesday 5th November 2008.
Our first born, a beautiful baby girl, Brooke Violet Fairbairn was born asleep at the Royal Victoria
Infirmary (Newcastle Upon Tyne) on Thursday 16th October 2008 at 2:39am.
She weighed 6 pounds 7 ounces, looking just like her mummy. Brooke was perfect inside and out.
She is a loving daughter to my self and Sean. Grandaughter to Ann, Gary, Barbara & Graham, Great
grandaughter, Neice, Great neice & Great Cousin.
Brooke's funeral service was held at whitley bay crematorium on Friday 24th October 2008 and her
ashes were buried at St. Bartholomews cemetry benton one week later on Friday 31st October 2008.
As of January 2009 Brooke's headstone is now standing, she has her own little garden, with
windmills, flowers and little figures.
We found out that I was pregnant with Brooke on Tuesday 26th February 2008. We were so happy and
decided to tell family straight away. Everyone was thrilled, and began making plans for the future.
We began shopping for everything we needed for our new baby. In the June we found out we were
expecting a little girl. We were thrilled, and went straight out to town and bought a load of girly
stuff. Brooke's nursery was decorated and full of everything we needed to start our lives with our
baby. We left our pram with family members, due to superstition. We didn't want anything to go
wrong, and didn't believe anything ever would! Everything was going great, and Brooke was a right
little mover, we could sit and watch and feel her kick for hours it was great.
We both attended ante natal appointments together, We enjoyed these. We got to see our daughter
growing, and were able to listen to her heart beat each time. It was amazing!
On Tuesday 7th October, we attended our last midwife appointment. Little did we know this would be
the last time we heard our daughters heartbeat.
Our lives changed forever on Sunday 12th October 2008. I had became worried, Brooke was a very
active baby and I had not felt her move in over a day. We tried to contact midwives, but there
phones were switched off. Sean decided it was time to contact the hospital, and we were told to go
in straight away.
We drove to the hospital in silence, and there we were seen to right away.
I was checked over by a midwife and appeared to be fine in my self. A nurse began to try and listen
for Brooke's heartbeat, but she was unable to find it. We were told not to worry as it wasn't
uncommon. She left the room to get another member of staff. Myself and Sean then decided to panick.
When the nurse re-entered she gave me an ultrasound and then a doctor entered and scanned me again.
Then the worst was confirmed. Our daughter had grew her angel wings, and her heart was no longer
beating. We were devastated. We cried and cried, the hospital staff left us alone for a while. It
was like being in a bad dream and waiting to wake up.
When they re-entered they were trying to explain what would happen next. They advised that I would
have to take a pill to help start my labour. I was in that much shock and pain I walked away without
taking the pill. We decided to return home so we could think.
We had to break the news to our family. Who were devestated also.
At home we decided it was best for me to take the pill, so after a night without sleep we returned
to the hospital to take the pill, and to make arrangements. We returned home not long afterwards and
tried to arrange and pack hospital bags for myself. All we could do was cry, we were still in
shock.
The hospital booked me in for my delivery 2 days later on the 15th october (which weirdly is
pregnancy and infant loss awareness day)
We went to the hospital on 15th October, and were booked into a special private room. The room was
made for people who had been through the same or similar circumstances as ourselves. We met our
midwives Nikki, Morag & Alison and they settled us in, and looked after us.
Overall the labour lasted around 12 hours, and our beautiful daughter was born sleeping at 2:39am on
16th October 2008.
All family came to the hospital to see our beautiful daughter, to have pictures taken with her and
to hold her before they had to say goodbye.
Myself and Sean decided to stay in hospital another night before leaving. We wanted to spend as much
time around our daughter as possible. The hardest part was having to leave our daughter in the
hospital and come home with empty arms. We left on the friday morning, we had a lot to start
preparing.
The whole week after Brooke's birth was hectic. We had to go and register the birth and death at the
same time. Arrange the funeral, flowers, pick her plot etc... our heads were all over the place. I
felt like we hadn't enough time to mourn.
Brooke's funeral was a week later on friday 24th October. W.S harrison and Son helped us arrange
everything. The funeral was one of the hardest days of our lives but eventually we felt like we
could mourn.
A lot of family, friends and co workers came to the funeral to pay there respects. We were told that
the service was beautiful. The service was conducted by humanist Moira, As neither of us are
religous. The word's written by Moira for the service were perfect & we were later given them on
paper to keep with the rest of Brooke's Nik Nak's in her memorie's box.
Entering the cremetorium we played 'AeroSmith - I don't want to miss a thing' chosen by myself.
During the service we played 'David Gray - This Year's Love' (Can be heard currently in the
background)'. Then leaving the cremetorium 'Mariah Carey - Without You' was played, and this was
chosen by Brooke's Daddy 'Sean'.
A family friend Lisa read poem's written by herself and Brooke's Nana Ann, and Moira also read a
poem written by Brooke's Grandad Graham. We said our goodbye's and the curtain's closed.
On leaving the cremetorium myself and Brooke's daddy Sean stood at the doorway and thanked each of
our guests for attending and paying there respects. We also had a donation box provided by W.S
Harrison & Son (Funeral directors). Donation's were to be made to 'Sands' The stillbirth charity.
£300 was raised by guest's alone.
We then left the cremetorium and went to stand outside to look at the flowers that family had
chosen. All were Beautiful and Unique. And were later taken to Brooke's Grave at St. Bart's.
A few day's later we decided to take a trip to Strettle in Shiremoor. Which is a memorials shop.
There we chose a white marble headstone for Brooke. With the word's written in Violet as this is her
middle name.
The words read
'Brooke Violet Fairbairn, Born Asleep 16th October 2008 Loved Forever, Forgotten Never' Photo's can
be viewed in Brooke's album.
We burried Brooke's ashes a week later on friday 31st of October at St Barts church, benton. She has
her own plot, with flowers and windmills and a headstone where people can go and pay respects.
After Brooke's delivery we had to wait a further 7 weeks for the post mortem results. We wanted to
know why this had happened, Because looking at our baby, She was perfect.
We met with a doctor at the RVI hospital on 2nd December to find out our results. We were very
nervous and didn't know what to expect.
Our results showed that there was a burst blood vessel on the placenta. And that Brooke had then
developed anemia and lost a lot of blood into myself. She had shortly after grew her angel wings.
We were told it had happened in seconds & that our daughter would not have suffered and would not
have been aware. Having heard our results the doctor told us that they see one case of this a year
if that. So it would not be likely to happen again in further pregnancies, and that this was just a
freak accident.
On the 1st December 2008 We attended a memorial service for all the lost babies born at the RVI
hospital in Newcastle. This was held in St.James Church Newcastle. There we met other's who have
gone through similar if not the same experiances as ourselves. We were given the chance to light a
candle for our daughter, and write out a card for her. We plan to attend this each year. To pay our
respects to all the lost babies.. not just of the RVI but all over the world.
A couple of weeks later we got the most amazing christmas present from our daughter. She had blessed
us with another baby, we found out on boxing day that I was again pregnant, which is when the
anxiety would begin.
We have since found out that we are expecting another baby girl. Baby Holly is due on Sunday 6th
September 2009, and will be induced 2 weeks early in august. A little sister for Brooke to watch
over.
Brooke Violet Fairbairn - Loved Forever, Forgotten Never
6TH SEPTEMBER 2009
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X MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW.X
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Walk With You Mummy (Author Unknown)
I walk with you my mommy dear,
I'm always with you, always near.
Just look behind as steps you take,
And see my footprints that I make.
They're in your heart when you're asleep,
You feel me kicking when you weep?
I walk with you when you are sad,
But I am happiest when you're glad.
I'm never far away from you,
I'm here in everything you do.
I walk with you if you're in pain,
I steady and help you up again.
And when on earth God calls you high,
I'll light the way mommy, to His sky.
God says I'm a gift mom, purer than gold,
He sent me to love you until you grow old.
You're blessed with an angel from Him above,
You gave me life, and we give you love.
I walk with you for eternity,
I am your angel, mommy look at me!
An Angel Never Dies (Author Unknown)
Don’t let them say I wasn’t born,
But something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I loved you from the start.
Although my body you can’t hold,
It doesn’t mean I’m gone,
This world was worthy not of me,
God chose that I move on.
I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face.
You have my word, I’ll fill your arms,
Some day we will embrace.
You’ll hear “that it was meant to be”
God doesn’t make mistakes,
But that won’t soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.
I’m watching over all you do,
Another child you’ll bear,
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.
There will come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face, and kiss my lips,
And you’ll understand.
Although I never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes,
That doesn’t mean I never “was”
An Angel never dies.
Dear Mummy
I wanted just to tell you
it's really not your fault
that you were granted your dream
that's come to a sudden halt.
see I was only given to you
for a time which was so short
because i was needed somewhere else
although i know i'm still in your thoughts
see i was sent to you especially
to someone pure of heart
someone who would be strong
when we would have to part
because heaven was short in numbers
of an Angel or two
and because of the love you made me with
the Angel elders took me from you
so please don't be mad or angry
for them taking me away
because you can always talk to me
i'm here everytime you pray
but now i'm here with the Angels
i've made them promise me
that they'll send you a brother or sister
one that's just like me
but that one will stay with you Mom
be there for you to hold
be there for you to cuddle
to love with your heart of gold
so please remember every day
you'll always be my mummy
and I will be there in spirit
to guard the earthly baby I will soon send to reach your tummy
Ask My Mum How She Is (Author Unknown)
My Mum, she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before.
But from now until she dies,
She'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mum how she is
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
Because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mum how she is,
She'll say 'I'm alright.'
If that's the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mum how she is,
She seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Mum how she is,
'I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping.'
For God's sake Mum, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken.
She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.
I am Here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
We'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say, 'You're lucky to get in here, Mum,
With all the lies you told.
One Wish (Author Unknown)
If i could wish upon a star
I would wish for you back here
I know you're happy where you are
But i miss you and want you near
Although i see you everyday
In my thoughts and in my dreams
I miss you more than words can say
It just gets worse, it seems
I try to be strong for others around
But all i want to do is cry
I just sit for hours by myself
And ask the question 'Why'?
It's the strongest pain I've ever felt
I don't think I could describe it
Although I try, I do my best
I don't think that I can hide it
My life will never be the same
That's why it's hard to bear
Because since the day you left us
I think that life's not fair
Some things seem not to matter now
Even things that mattered before
You have no idea what I would give up
To make this pain less sore
People say we'll meet again
And yeah I know that's true
But I wish it didn't have to be this way
Because you know how much I miss you
I love you with all my heart and soul
And there's one thing you need to know
There's not one person in the human race
That could ever take your place
The day your angel wings took flight,
a beautiful new star lit up the night,
our tragic loss is heavens gain,
our hearts feel heavy with this pain.
With the angels you will soar,
in our hearts for ever more,
sleep tight angel baby, please stay close by,
and watch over us from your cloud up high.
Tiny angel, so perfect in every way,
we think of you with so much love,
each and every day.
(Author Unknown)
I have an angel on my shoulder.
She whispers in my ear.
Her voice is soft and gentle
And no one else can hear.
When I'm tired and lonely
It's comfort that she brings.
When I'm filled with happiness
I hear her laughter ring.
My Angel's very close to me
I even know her name.
And though I cannot see her
I love her just the same.
She now has no more suffering
And gone is all her pain.
I believe with all my heart
We'll someday meet again.
An Angel's job is taxing
It's as hard as it can be.
I hope she doesn't get too tired
Looking after me.
Yes, my Angel's with me
From morning til the night.
I know as long as she is here
Everything will be alright.
So when my days are over
I'll not pass in fear.
I know my Angel's waiting
to lead me home up there.
(Author Unknown)
Wings & Halos (Author Unknown)
I was so excited when I woke up today
I heard my Mommy was coming to play
I washed my wings and my halo too
Cuz that's what Mommy likes me to do
I went to the place where I knew she'd be
It's where she comes to visit me
She comes for comfort in her despair
Oh Mommy, can't you feel me touching your hair?
I'm by your side all through the night
I never let you out of my sight
I was your baby for not even a day
But soon we can be together and play
You know we'll never be apart
You'll never let me leave your heart
Mommy I'm not really in the ground,
lift up your head and look around
The clouds, the birds, the raindrops too
these gifts of life were given to you
Don't cry for me Mommy, I know you're here
Please let me wipe away that tear.
I was sent to you from up above
And you showed me the ultimate love
Instead of giving me all of your years
You freely gave me all of your tears
Remember your relatives, the ones who have died?
They brought me here, I'm by their side
They watch over me and help me to see
just how much you really love me
So don't be unhappy when you come visit me
I'm the angel above you, up in the tree
And when you leave, you'll never be through
You'll always be my Mommy
And I'll always love you
After making his new angel
God looked down from above
He happened to notice you
And all he saw was love
He said to the angel
"I need to send you there,
There is where you'll be loved
Where you will feel the most care"
So God sent you this angel
To nuture, love and grow
But not an angel you could keep
For it would soon be time to go
You taught this angel wonderful things
That only a mother could do
Your angel learnt compassion and warmth
Whilst living inside of you
This angel was one that would have to leave
One you'd hardly hold
One you'd mourn for the rest of your life
If the truth be told
God realised you'd miss this angel
And so he gave you tears
A way to express your love
Over the coming years
Then God called this angel home
And asked what the angel had learned
The angel said a love so strong
In a mothers heart had burned
"I learnt that love can exist
Even when I've gone
For love never dies you see
I've learnt it carries on"
God looked at the angel
Smiled and gave a sigh
"You have learnt a valuable lesson
That often passes people by"
The angel looked at God and asked
"Why is my mummy so sad?"
God answered "when I called you home
It made her miss what she had;
But soon she will realise
I sent her a special gift
I sent her you my child
Although I took you swift
Her love for you will never wain
You will remain ever in her heart
You will be in her thoughts and feelings
Like you've never been apart"
The angel asked God what this mummy did
To deserve such a wonderful thing
"Your mummy is so pure of heart
she makes the angels want to sing"
The angel thanked God
For giving him such a lovely mum
So you see in loving your angel
Your work is truly done
God didn't wish to punish you
He only showed you love
He gave you a special angel
A gift from heaven above
He knows only a special person
Can be an angel mum
He made us in his image
He lost his only son
He know's just how your heart aches
And wished that wasn't so
But your angel is so happy
In God's heavenly home
So when you think of your angel
Please just smile, don't weep
Be proud that God chose you
To love an angel so sweet
When your heart feels empty
Your life so full of despair
Remember God picked you!
Because no-one else compares
(Author Unknown)
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